We spend a lot of our time looking for someone who knows exactly how we feel. Someone who is stimulated by the same things that we are. Someone who understands how we think and feel. But my question is this; is that really necessary? Why do we spend so much time looking for someone who is like us and pass up the individuals who are different? Isn't that what makes things complete..two people with different interests brought together to bring forth something beautiful and well rounded?
What are the essentials? How much weight do different characteristics have on influencing one's decision? Can people be happy with someone who is different from them, someone who runs off of a different beat? What if they aren't stimulated by the same things and they have different interests? I suppose the answer is: sure they can, but how hard will it be? I guess it doesn't matter if it's hard or not right? A good marriage, no matter what, will take work. So why are such decisions so hard? I'll tell you....because we maximize. There are so many options out there so we are trying to make the BEST decision. If it's a good decision, it's a good decision. So why not move forward? Choose. Choose to be happy with that person and to make it work with that person. It's a much better option than to be driven by our emotions and let those fickle emotions dictate how we act.
3 comments:
I love ya Kait! You are a wonderful writer my friend.
Insightful. And mildly perplexing. Hope you're doing well.
I couldn't agree more Kait. I think that two people in a marriage should have different characteristics. We each only experience what we experience because of the limitations of our perspective/paradigm, but if we find someone who is somewhat different then we can expand our experiences and paradigm and be all the more fulfilled as a result of it. I think too that having some common interests and abilites also allows you to share the joy - to engage in things that you truly enjoy together. So finding the right mate is not a process of finding the 'perfect' match, someone who fills in all your missing pieces, but it is a process of finding the person who will blend nicely with you - who will 'complete you' and you them, as the phrase goes.
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